Me: Okay, so we have Dynamaxing-
Kaia: *blissful sigh*
Me: ...right. Next is the group raids.
Kaia: Teaming up with some friends to capture a big guy? I call that Friday night!
Me: I'm going to be writing a story about that, aren't I?
Kaia: Yes, yes you are.
Me: Fantastic. Moving on to story elements. We have our Professor: Professor Magnolia.
Kaia: So happy to finally see another female Professor. Though I think making her an old lady was a little bit cliched.
Me: Agreed on both counts. Next we have her granddaughter, Sonia.
Kaia: Oh, she's cute. And she's a researcher just like me. I either want to tie her up, or invite her to join me in tying someone up, and right now I don't care which.
Me: Is that going-
Kaia: That's going to be a story, yes.
Me: Fine. I didn't want any free time anyway. Up next is the Pokemon Champion, Leon.
Kaia: Mmmm... Mama likey~
Me: Really? The outfit doesn't bother you?
Kaia: Oh, he won't be wearing it.
Me: Well, since you come from my subconscious, that opens up some fun questions I get to ask about myself. Next we have his little brother Hop.
Kaia: ... see, I'm reluctant to say anything because I can't tell how old he is. Regardless, he looks like he needs a gag in his mouth, whether I'm dominating him or not.
Me: Not touching that. And lastly we have our first Gym Leader, Milo.
Kaia: *in a fake southern accent* Well I do declare I might just lasso me a farmboy!
Me: ... He's British, you racist.
Kaia: He's Galarian. That's like calling me Hawaiian.
Me: Not everyone plays Pokemon. It's easier to describe you that way!
Kaia: *rolls eyes*
Me: Let's move on. We have some new Pokemon!
Kaia: Ooh!
Me: I thought you'd like that! First we have our legendaries-
Kaia: *covering my eyes* Quick! No Googling, completely from memory, what are their names?
Me: Um... uh... Zacian?
Kaia: Good boy~. And the Shield legendary?
Me: Um... Z-Zarazama?
Kaia: *cackles and lets go*
Me: ... Zamazenta. It's gonna take me forever to memorize that one.
Kaia: Awww, poor baby. So am I tying these boys up?
Me: Actually, I don't think so. Legendary Pokemon are supposed to be just that. Legendary. It's extremely unlikely that most people who live in the world of Pokemon will ever see one. And I think I'd like my Kaiaverse stories-
Kaia: Awww, you named them after me!
Me: -to be more grounded. It's going to be very unlikely that a legandary will ever show up. And if one does, it's going to be with the gravitas and respect that one deserves.
Kaia: Well look at you pretending to be deep!
Me: What do you mean pretending? I created you, didn't I? Are you saying you're not deep?
Kaia: Sweetie, no one clicked on this to read you being philosophical. Move on.
Me: Spoilsport. Next we have Gossifleur and its evolution, Eldegoss.
Kaia: Meh.
Me: Yeah, I kind of agree. But this one is better. Dreadnaw. A vicious Pokemon that requires a skilled trainer to tame.
Kaia: Rude of Gamefreak to call me out like that, but challenge accepted.
Me: Next is one of my personal favorites. Corviknight.
Kaia: KNIGHT!! WE ARE CAPTURING THIS ONE!!
Me: Wait, you like knights?
Kaia: Duh. They trudge around in heavy armor which guarantees they get a killer figure. Then they swear their lives to a princess. They risk life and limb for a woman who they cannot fuck, and who would chain them up and throw them in the dungeon if they looked at her funny.
Me: Not entirely sure that's how knighthood works...
Kaia: They are the ULTIMATE subs, and I want one!
Me: Okay, we'll get you a crow knight. Now finally we come to Twitter's favorite: the sheep Pokemon Wooloo- *interrupted by the sound of dogs barking* Wha-
Kaia: *squealing at a pitch that only dogs can hear*
Me: Are you okay?
Kaia: Garrett. Look at her. Look at this beautiful creature.
Me: Not sure if we should call her that before we anthropomorphize her, but I'm looking.
Kaia: She is a friendly Pokemon who craves stability! I offer stabilty! I give Pokemon a home, family, and plenty of bondage! What's more stable than bondage!
Me: I-
Kaia: And when she encounters conflict, she rolls away!! How cute is that!?
Me: That is pretty cu-
Kaia: I want one.
Me: But you have Sobble! He's already a cute, sweet sub.
Kaia: And now I'm going to have two. Get to writing!
Me: *sigh*